Guide for the Socially Awkward – Preamble

May 21, 2013 at 1:09 pm | Posted in Guide for the Socially Awkward | Leave a comment
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Ok, I’m going to try and do a weekly running theme. To help my fellow brethren get past this wall of social awkwardness that I’m trying to scale right now too.

Little background information about myself. I’m 18 this year, and have been feeling pretty cheated of life as of now. When I was 11 I thought high school would be epic, you know, with romance and drama. I got all that…. only that it was in the form of media on a computer or TV screen. I’ve never even been to a party-party. OK, maybe I was wrong to expect my life to be like Gossip Girl or something, but really? I spent my last few birthdays playing board games. Board games like Scrabble and Dixit. I can guarantee they’re lovely games. But these are my spring years, I ought to act in an uncouthly manner. Y’know with drinking, partying and bad mistakes. 

So I’ve hit college (or university, whatever you want to call it.) and it finally took me now to realize, NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO CHANGE IF I CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE THIS.

And so, I’m going to try be more social, watch me fall fly. Hence, this is going to be more of a introspective kind of thing. But I wanted to write it on a public platform for people to read because a) I want to help out my fellow socially inept comrades (you can learn from my experiences, be it good or bad.) and b) I feel like I’m slightly insane when I write in my diary. You know that no one is ever going to read it, yet you write it out as though someone would. As if your diary is some sort of entity that reads what you wrote. So, hm. 

Stuff that I hope I will be able to find out.

1) How to approach people and talk to them

2) How to dress better

3) How to not be so derpy

4) What to do in ___ situations.

First one is quite simple, I will count it as a success if I can talk to a complete stranger and carry a conversation for at least three minutes (was thinking of five, but let’s not bite off more than we can chew.) Stuff to do include righting my body language, getting better self-esteem, and learning how to respond to people’s signals. hoho. If only it was so simple!

Second one: Buy nicer clothes??? 

Third -> this one is really hard. And I think it’d help if I defined what I mean by derpy. I think this was one of the most embarrassing and derpy moments for me (in the past year.) I’m glad no one I have to associate with (who aren’t one of my close friends–they have already accepted me for who I am, thank God…) is reading this.

Okay. So basically, I was getting some form of recognition in high school and it involved me walking across stage. You have to shake the (deputy) head boy/girl, principal etc  hands… so I walked up the stage semi-gracefully. I didn’t trip up the stairs as one girl before me did. Good job right there! And I just walked across stage. See where the problem was? I literally just walked across the stage and didn’t shake any of the people’s hands. In fact, I didn’t even notice what I was doing (or what I wasn’t doing) before the head boy hissed my name and then I doubled back to shake their hands. I don’t know what I was doing or what I wasn’t doing. And so here you go. My definition of derp/derpiness/derpy is more of the state of unawareness to my surroundings or situations… which makes me a really, really awkward person when I’m trying to be concious of my environment. <- this sentence is awkward.

Number four. This is more like the bonus section, what the Japs call omake. ;D I want to learn how to respond to certain situations. ie. when people sing Happy Birthday to you, where do you look? How do you go about putting cash back into your wallet without dropping all your coins?

That sort of thing.

So that’s sort of the parameters of my goals/direction I want to take. I’ll try be more proactive this week. We’ll see… exams are in three weeks. Might put this off. Dun dun dun. Don’t hold your breath.

Final words of wisdom for the preamble, it’s a snappy comeback my friend said to me. An assignment mark was supposed to come back on the 15th or something, and she spend the whole day waiting. This is the conversation that took place.

Me: Don’t worry, the night is still young. 

Friend:  Yeah but our facilitators aren’t. They’re probs in bed right now.

May the awkwardness leave your side and be replaced with social dexterity!

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